Twenty Reasons
by MyCookiesNotYours
Summary: Deidara decides to watch as Pein attempts to recruit more members, but when the last candidate is annoying as hell, Deidra complains, so Pein tells him to give twenty reasons why Tobi should not be allowed to join.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Twenty Reasons  
**Author: **Yoko**, MyCookiesNotYours  
****Genre:** Humor.  
**Rating: K+  
Spoilers: Maybe one, I don't know.  
Word Count: 915  
Disclaimer:**I don't own Naruto.

* * *

Deidara sat in living room of the Akatsuki base, hoping that Sir Leader didn't recruit any more people. Yeah, sure they only had... Actually they had plenty people, no more annoyances needed.

But as soon as Sir Leader came out of his 'Royal Quarters' (a.k.a. his bedroom) Deidara knew that he was about to interview some candidates.

Three men and two women entered the room after Sir Leader Pein-sama, all wearing.. Their tidy-whities. No I'm serious, Sir Leader had ordered them to strip, so of course they didn't argue.

Deidara snickered. He remembered when Sir Leader had told him the only way to join the Akatsuki was to prove he belonged, and in order to do that he had to be stripped of his pride. Or in this case, his clothes. Deidara had immediately started laughing upon hearing such a request, and almost got killed. Sir Leader would not take such behaviour, and he had told everyone at the interview... After teaching Deidara a lesson by setting his underwear on fire, yeah, Deidara learned not to question Sir Leaders orders.

But all in all, he had proved he belonged in the organization, and Sir Leader wasn't about to deny his access just because he was a spoiled brat.

Now that he had looked at the participants, he could see one that reminded him of someone he knew.

The only person wearing a mask.

"Son, remove your mask."

"But... I can't!" Deidara stifled his laughter. He knew that this kid would be punished for back-talking.

"And why not?!"

"Because.. it's uh... glued to Tobi's face?" Deidara started giggling.

"If you're going to lie, at least do it properly."

"Tobi doesn't lie, Tobi's a good boy!" Deidara blew into outright laughter, causing the occupants of the room to stare at him.

"Remove. The. Mask." Sir Leader drew a kunai out, pointing at the masked man.

"Tobi knows he is making you mad... But, Tobi can't! Tobi is not pretty!" Deidara laughed even harder.

"This is an organization for criminals, it doesn't matter if you're 'pretty' or not. Remove the god forsaken mask right this instant!"

"Jashin will smite you Pein-sama!" Hidan yelled from the apparent kitchen.

"Hidan, Jashin bows down to _me_, not the other way around, so if he even dares smiting me, lets just say that all of his followers will feel the pain I will bring upon _him_."

Deidara jumped onto the couch, still laughing as the masked man tried hiding behind another person, in a pathetic attempt to prevent having to remove his mask.

"If you don't remove that mask, there will be no reason to wear it, because you'll be dead."

"But Tobi has no face at all!" Deidara stopped laughing, and turned to face the ridiculous man, staring bug-eyed at him.

"Obviously the mask is of great importance to you, so I'll let it slide. But be warned, if you deny any more commands, you'll be right next to Jashin after he dares to smite me."

Tobi visibly gulped, and Deidara rolled his eyes. This man was not worthy of joining such an organization such as the Akatsuki. Only _the_ best, and_ the_smartest ninjas joined, and obviously this man was not the brightest explosive in the box. No, that's not quite it... He wasn't he the sharpest kunai in the pouch. Not it either. Okay, he was a few noodles short of a bowl of ramen. Yeah, let's go with that.

"I want all of you to attack me at one time, with your most effective attack."

"But, Sir Leader, we could kill you!" A woman objected.

"Do not ponder the possibility when you could be witnessing the result."

"Y-yes sir.." Four participants lunged forward at Pein, and all missed.

"Tell me why you are just standing there." Pein asked.

"Because, Tobi is waiting until those fools are done so Tobi can fight one on one with you."

"Very well." With one swift movement, Pein decapitated all four ninja, and Deidara smirked.

"May Tobi fight you now?"

Pein nodded, and Tobi still stood still.

After about five minutes of staring at each other, Pein walked over to Tobi and looked directly into his eye hole. Big mistake.

Soon enough, Pein was on the floor writhing in pain, telling Tobi that he had passed and that he could stop at any moment, and that the any moment should be rather soon or he'd be decapitating him too.

"Tobi is very sorry, Tobi did not know he could hurt you that much!"

"You should not apologize for using your Mangekyou Sharingan, it's merely a sign a weakness to do such to a foe."

"But Tobi is a good boy, and good boys apologize when they are mean!"

Deidara snorted, effectively gaining the leaders attention.

"Is there something funny Deidara?"

"Pein-sama, this guy should not be allowed into the organization."

"Why not?"

"I can name twenty reasons why not."

"Well then, if you CAN name twenty GOOD reasons why Tobi should not be allowed to join the Akatsuki, then he will not be able to join."

Deidara thought this was an easy task, but he couldn't be any more wrong!


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Twenty Reasons  
**Author: **Yoko**, MyCookiesNotYours  
****Genre:** Humor.  
**Rating: K+  
Spoilers: Maybe one, I don't know.  
Word Count: 690  
Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

* * *

The next morning Deidara sat at his desk, with a piece of paper in front of him, pen in his hand. He rubbed his forehead, thinking of one more reason why Tobi should not be allowed to join the Akatsuki, but he couldn't.

He only had one more reason, and surely he could find one.

"Deidara, we did not discuss a dead line, and I would like you to know, I'm giving you until sundown to give me the list of reasons. If you cannot come up with twenty reasons, he will be able to join, and of course, as stated before, he will be your partner."

The partner thing was obvious, Sasori had just died, leaving Deidara without a partner, that's why Pein was recruiting members, they needed more.

With one quick movement, he scribbled down the last reason and shuffled off to Pein's work room.

Deidara knocked on the door.

He heard a small clang, then a thud, and then Pein swearing.

"--I just got that cleaned!" Pein yelled. "Ah, come in Deidara."

Deidara questioned how Pein knew, of course, not out loud.

He set the paper down on Pein's desk, and walked out of the room.

Pein opened the folded letter and read the contents.

Twenty Reasons Why Tobi Should Not Be Allowed to Join The Akatsuki:

_1. He's a good boy._

_2. He says he's a good boy._

_3. He annoys me._

_4. He annoys you._

_5. He'd annoy everyone in the Akatsuki._

_6. He's supposed to be a ninja, yet wears a bright orange mask._

_7. Disobeys commands._

_8. Is a nuisance._

_9. Cannot follow simple commands._

_10. Thinks highly of himself._

_11. Stands around during fights._

_12. Would question your every move._

_13. Is a liability._

_14. Is socially retarded._

_15. Is mentally retarded._

_16. Would probably pee on the furniture._

_17. Cost the Akatsuki a lot of money._

_18. Sings off key._

_19. Cannot cook._

_20. If you are reading this, your probably wandering why there is no more reasons being told. But that is simply because after reading this list, it is not necessary to give another reason as to why he should not be allowed to join._

Pein chuckled, shaking his jewelry studded head.

* * *

After completely the task of reading the list, Pein wrote a letter to Deidara, and stuck it on his desk.

Then moments after Pein sneakily left Deidara's room, Deidara crept in, and picked the note up.

_Dear Deidara, although you may have given those reasons much thought, I would like to inform you that they do not hold any significance._

_None of the reasons are important enough to keep him out of the Akatsuki. As I recall, you did not obey commands, you refused to fight me, you annoyed every single member besides yourself, you cannot cook, or sing in key, everybody thought at one point you were mentally and socially retarded, you think highly of yourself, you questioned my every move, and have peed on the furniture to get back at Kakuzu for stealing your money, your clay is very expensive and it isn't you who pays for it, is it?_

_You may not wear an orange mask, but you use explosives that cause loud noises and a lot of destruction, and sometimes the rest of us question your sanity. Now, as for the last reason... It wasn't a reason at all, and hence, that was only nineteen reasons why Tobi should not be allowed to join, not the twenty I told you to give me. So, after much consideration, Tobi is now a member of the Akatsuki. As you know, he will be your new partner, so he will be sharing the bedroom with you. _

_Sincerely, Pein._

Deidara stared, jaw dropped. He could not believe that Pein would even say such a thing! Nobody insulted his singing and got away with it!

Now, time to go deal with some annoying business.


End file.
